A box in the attic is what is left of the past two years in my bilingual primary school. I mean, to be specific, there is one big box and a few smaller boxes, the attic is not quite the attic but this special storage space, not the actual attic and, of course, it was not a school where I worked and NOT my actual property of a bilingual school. But, apart from that, that’s what it is. I have packed up the experience of two years in a very special environment and I put it away.
This post will be kind of on the personal side and I really have no idea if there is anything mildly useful to anyone else out there but, the thing is, I really want to write it. Spoiler: it is a part of the whole process of saying goodbye and closing down.
Things to do in the classroom
Aka cleaning which one is the number one thing and the easiest thing to do. Me and my (self-diagnosed) OCD – we just loooove cleaning, clearing out and taking out the rubbish and then breathing peacefully in a space that is a bit neater.
Getting rid of the rubbish that, inevitably, piled up throughout the year, that was very gratifying, sorting out things and finding out bits and pieces that I thought I had lost or I forgot I had bought – this was fun. Moving around the furniture or tearing things off the walls – that was just great. I hated throwing out things that I just could not keep, like mountains of kids’ paintings (those that I could not keep or those that were left after I gave out things to people). Looking at my classroom, suddenly just a room with bare walls and a window, not a place where we have achieved so much, where we have suffered so much and where we have laughed so much, that was beyond sad, no other words.
However, walking to the metro, for the last time, with my dragon dinosaur sticking out of the bag, I was almost giggling because I realised that the school location is so much off the beaten track for me that avoiding it to avoid all the memories and sadness will be super easy.
Things to do with the kids
Somewhere along the way, I realised that I made a decision to have the best two weeks at school for my students, the best possible. In class, during the breaks, during the concert, the final exams and tests.
It took a few hours to assemble the presents, a little bag filled with the silly junk that second-graders might appreciate: a capybara keyring, a few fluorescent party sticks, stickers and a UV marker and, the most precious of all the streamers popper extra piece that everyone got to play with at home (because I wanted to make sure that no one will ok with using the one during our concert). And, the most difficult of all tasks – I sat down to write a personal letter to every single one of my students. To tell them that they are fanstastic, hard-working and absolutely amazing. To thank them and to say good-bye.
I left the presents on the window in their classrooms and begged to open only after the show. Amazingly, they did hear me and they did listen. The final victory!
Our final show was amazing and we have great videos and photos to look back on, to reminisce. The kids loved it, the parents loved it and, miraculously, everything went to plan.
We wrote our final exams, we did the speaking part and we even managed to write one more letter to our pen-pals in Turkey. It was not an easy week but it was beautiful.
Things to do with the parents
I saw most of the parents during these last three days and we managed to say good-bye. I wrote to everyone to thank them for everything and, in exchange, I got lots and lots of messages that made me believe and confirm that it was not all in vain and that we did a good job, over those two years.
Things to do with self
When I came home after the last proper school day, I was just exhausted. The day was so emotionally charged that I was ready to reboot and to go to sleep almost immediately after walking into the flat. And that is what I did. The next few days were basically a blur and I just tried to focus on the daily routines. One of my colleagues asked about the plans for the future and I remember answering ‘I am unable to make any decisions at the moment. In fact, I mustn’t make any serious decisions at the moment. I have enough of brain cells power to decide what’s for breakfast, nothing more’ and it is amazing how accurate that was.
Then, after everything was packed and the project was closed, it was necessary to take things easy, slow down, do nothing for a while or do your favourite things. And, only then, when the dust settles, start thinking of the next step.
It took about two weeks for me to be ready to deal with all of the things that I brought from school, the resources that were mine, books, craft junk and the precious markers, and the most precious of my students’ works that I would never like to throw out. All of that had to be sorted out, looked through, packed nicely and, yes, eventually, put away, in boxes.
‘What’s next?’
I have heard this question about a million times over the last few weeks. I am talking, I am considering and, most importantly, I am thinking. I am in my chrysalis state. We’ll see what will come out of it.
Happy teaching!